Acknowledge, Approach, Apologize: The Art of a Genuine Apology

Overthinking and beating yourself up for making a mistake won't do you any good. However, I get that sometimes a mistake we've made really has hurt or offended someone and it's appropriate to acknowledge it and apologize. 

But then, the overthinking about the mistake itself becomes overthinking about how to apologize and what to say. Right?

Don't panic! Breaking down the steps to a genuine apology and writing your thoughts down before approaching someone will help you know what to say. 

💙First, you'll want to acknowledge the mistake you've made.

You can say, "I realize that what I said during our conversation may have hurt you."

💙Take responsibility and own your actions without making excuses.

You can say, "I take full responsibility for what I said (did) and I didn't mean to hurt you."

💙Then share your genuine regret.

You can say, "I feel really bad knowing that what I said (did) hurt you."

💙Then, share your genuine regret: 

You can say, "I feel really bad knowing that what I said hurt you."

💙Finally, ask how you can make things right.

You can say, "Is there anything I can do to make this right?"

You'll want to avoid shifting blame to the other person by saying something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Also avoid using the word "but" in your apology. Saying something like, "I'm sorry but..." implies that even though you're trying to apologize, you're actually saying that your actions were justified because of something the other person said or did that caused your actions. Remember, owning and taking responsibility for your own actions is the foundation of a genuine apology. 

One more note, avoid OVER-apologizing. Stick to the simple outline above- Acknowledge, take responsibility, express your regret, and make amends. 

💙And don't forget to let the person know that you're going to commit to doing better next time. "I'll be more careful with my words/actions next time. I'm still learning."

A thoughtful apology will help you rebuild trust with the other person and with yourself. Accepting that you’re human and reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes can help ease the pressure of feeling like you have to say and do everything perfectly. Remember:

💙Acknowledge

💙Take responsibility                              

💙Express your regret

💙Make amends                            

💙Commit to doing better

💙 Keep Shining! 💙