Win or Lose

I come from a generation of people who were taught that winning meant getting the job done right and being the best at whatever you were doing. Winning first place was the ultimate goal- second place was okay and third place? Eh, whatever. As a parent of Gen Z kids, I watched them during their grade school years earn medals and certificates just for showing up! At first, I was a little annoyed (don't worry, I didn't let on to the kids I was annoyed- I was a proud mama through and through,) but I'd be lying if I didn't admit, I wish I had gotten medals growing up just for being me and showing up. I was recently reading through my journal from 1997-1998 for a writing project I'm working on, and the theme throughout was, "I'm not good enough. No-one recognizes the good things I do, but they sure as hell jump at the opportunity to acknowledge my mistakes." Now, as a fourteen/fifteen-year-old sullen teenager was I being dramatic? Most likely. Ok, definitely. But at that moment, that was my reality. It's what I felt and believed enough to write in my journal, so...

In the present, I'm learning to rewire the win-or-you-are-a-loser mentality. I'm learning to give myself- and others- more grace and compassion. I'm constantly having to remind myself that doing my best, whatever my best is in that moment or for that day, is an absolute win. I'm learning that recognition from others is not the motive for being successful or winning at life. Being kind and generous is winning. Trying something new is winning. Showing up- especially when you don't feel like it- is winning. Giving our best effort- even if we don't measure up to someone else's best (or our own best)- is still winning. Accept the challenge to do and be your best and you'll always be a winner. Keep trying, keep showing up, keep winning and don't worry if you think no one is taking note. Believe me, they are. And if they're not, remember- it's not about them- do it anyway.