I've moved my blog!

 You can now find my writing at 

kaitlynmarquartwrites.com 

Keep Shining! 💙

The Power of Saying No: Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

Have you ever said yes to something you didn't want to do because you were too afraid of disappointing someone or hurting their feelings? Do you end up deciding that suffering through the thing you don't want to do is better than suffering through the anxiety of figuring out how to say no, or worse-- feeling guilty for saying no? 

The fear of judgment and overthinking the outcome of saying no can be overwhelming. I've been there. Even now, I still have to be mindful of my limits, to avoid taking on more than I can handle, and to say no to situations that don't serve me or my mental health. It's not always easy to honor the boundaries I've set for myself, but in the end, I've never regretted doing what's best for me. 

But how do you say no? 

*Declining an invitation*

"Thanks for thinking of me, but I won't be able to make it."

    

*Declining when someone asks you for a favor*

"My plate is pretty full right now. I really want to help, but I've

got too much going on."

*Declining an opportunity that will result in overcommitting yourself*

"That sounds like a great opportunity, but I've got so much going on already and I wouldn't be able to focus all of my attention on it."

It's essential to prioritize not just your mental health, but also your time and energy. Once you've made the decision to decline an invitation, favor, or opportunity that doesn't align with your needs or desires, let it go. Don't waste precious energy second-guessing yourself. Saying no isn't an ending-- it's the beginning of taking control of your life, respecting your boundaries, and making space for what truly matters to you. By saying no to what doesn't serve you, you're saying yes to a life that honors your well-being and happiness.

Keep shining!💙 

Acknowledge, Approach, Apologize: The Art of a Genuine Apology

Overthinking and beating yourself up for making a mistake won't do you any good. However, I get that sometimes a mistake we've made really has hurt or offended someone and it's appropriate to acknowledge it and apologize. 

But then, the overthinking about the mistake itself becomes overthinking about how to apologize and what to say. Right?

Don't panic! Breaking down the steps to a genuine apology and writing your thoughts down before approaching someone will help you know what to say. 

💙First, you'll want to acknowledge the mistake you've made.

You can say, "I realize that what I said during our conversation may have hurt you."

Giving Yourself Grace: Building a Better Relationship with Yourself

Have you ever replayed a mistake in your head over and over, only to find out the person you worried was offended or hurt doesn’t even remember it? It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Learning to forgive yourself is one of the most powerful ways to build a better relationship with yourself—and it starts with giving yourself grace.

Giving yourself grace means recognizing that you’re human, that making mistakes is part of life, and that beating yourself up won’t change the past. It’s about choosing to be kind to yourself, even when you’re not perfect.

The energy we spend dwelling on our mistakes could be used to learn from them and move forward. Instead, we often let shame and guilt hold us back. Think of mistakes as opportunities for growth. Instead of asking, "Why did I mess up?" ask, "What can I learn from this?"

Caring deeply about others is an admirable trait, however, sometimes it can go too far. Overthinking and feeling overwhelming guilt about a mistake - especially one that may have caused someone harm- will prevent you from making progress. 

If you feel you’ve hurt someone, approach them and apologize. (More on that in my next post.) Often, the act of owning your mistake is more impactful than the mistake itself.

Building a better relationship with yourself takes practice, patience, and persistence. It starts with a simple choice: to give yourself the grace you deserve. The more you practice self-love, the more you’ll feel free to live authentically and without fear of your own mistakes.

💙Keep Shining!💙

Where Has the Time Gone?

Available on Amazon! 
https://a.co/d/i8L2DzC
 

The last few months have been an absolute whirlwind! Between writing, editing and finally publishing my first book, IDK What To Say: A Guide For Navigating Social Situations, returning to work and back to school season, launching my author website and social accounts AND beginning every day at 6am sharp to work on writing my novel, Amber Luna, My Bright Light  ... Phew ... my original little corner of the internet here on blogger just about slipped my mind. Sorry it took me so long to make my way back!

As I've been working on reaching more readers through socials and events, I've been truly humbled by and am grateful for the show of support from both family, friends, and yes, even strangers on the internet. There's no greater feeling than knowing your true self is finally in alignment with what you're actually doing with your life. Achieving my dream of being a published author doesn't mean all of life's problems have magically melted away overnight. I'm not prancing through flowering meadows wearing a cape and sun hat just because I have a link on Amazon! Responsibilities and the realities of everyday life remain. But taking steps to do what I know in my heart I'm meant to do gives me peace, despite all of life's challenges. Being my most authentic self is the ultimate goal and I'm learning new things about myself every day.

I think as a writer the most important mission is to help others be their authentic self. There's so much more to being an author than writing just for the sake of telling a story and hoping it keeps a reader's attention for a couple of hours. The real goal of a story, the characters, the struggles they face and the things they overcome, is to write in a way that makes a reader feel like you're really with them- on their front porch, riding as the passenger in their car on a long road trip, wherever, and telling them, "You aren't the only one that has felt this way or thought that mean thing or struggled with a weakness that you're too ashamed to admit to anyone. Don't believe me? Let me introduce you to this character that I think you'll be able to relate to."

Yes, people read to escape reality, to have a good laugh, to be swept away by a romance or transported to the future in a dystopian world. But sometimes, I think we read to figure out how to make it through our own lives, and hopefully, how to do life better. Writing creates a space where inspiration and clarity align and provide the key to understanding ourselves and each other. This is the true power that comes from being a writer. Harnessing this power requires not only skill but also empathy, courage, and authenticity to express the human experience with honesty and integrity.

This is my intention. This is my purpose. Keep Shining!

IDKWTS: FEEDBACK WELCOME

Thank you for being willing to share some feedback on my latest work.

As a mother of teenagers with social anxiety, I have drawn from my own experiences to create content I think will be useful to others. Maybe there are experiences you've had yourself or with your teenagers and young adult kids you wish you had a little more guidance on- I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

The purpose of IDKWTS is to help people practice what to say and what to do with short dialogue scripts included in the manual. 

Here are a few links to google docs for you to open, read and comment any feedback.

Introduction

Accepting Compliments

Making Appointments

Conversations and Small Talk

Returning Purchases

A Core Memory Dream: An excerpt from my work in progress, untitled novel

 Looking through tree branches, the view from where she is perched is breathtaking. Flowering trees like the one she’s sitting atop stretch for what seems like miles. A bumble bee rests on her knee and gives a wink, “Hello there,” the bee buzzes, then lifts off to greet another apple blossom.

A hum of laughter draws her attention to the lake just beyond the orchard. There she sees a circle of people sitting on giant logs. There’s a fire spitting sparks as they poke at it with sticks.

“I’d like to join them,” she thinks, as she finds her footing to make her descent.

 In an instant, she’s behind the circle of friends, “Hey guys. Can I join you?” All of them turning their attention to her in unison exclaim, “Amber! Hi! You made it!”

She’s dumbfounded, “Who are these people? How do they know me?”

Taking a seat on the log, she searches their faces trying to remember their names but none of them seem familiar. “They’re all my age, but why don’t I know them? And how do they know me?”

“Amber, you want to roast a marshmallow?” One girl offers her stick with remnants of the last gooey marshmallow that met its fate over the campfire.

Amber watches the marshmallow slowly expand over the heat of the flames before it transforms from snow white to golden brown. She pulls the stick back, having tortured the marshmallow enough, and releases it from its death bed. Popping the toasted pillow into her mouth, soft, sticky sweetness consumes her. It’s so real she thinks, “There’s no way this is a dream.”

An eruption of laughter pulls her back to the moment. Two boys are taking their bows on the imaginary stage in front of the fire. The girls are clapping wildly and shaking off the remaining laughter in their bellies as one boy asks, “Who’s next?” 

Amber thinks, “Next for what?”